Sri Ramakrishna said that we want everything but God. The Master said:
Men weep jugfuls of tears for children, wife, money, etc.; but who weeps for God? So long as a child is engrossed in play with its toys, the mother engages herself in cooking and other household works. But when the little one finds no satisfaction in toys, throws them aside and loudly cries for its mother, she can no longer remain in the kitchen. She perhaps drops down the rice pot from the hearth, and runs in hot haste to the child and takes it up in her arms.
Yearning for God is the master-key for success in sadhana. Through the life of Sri Ramakrishna God has demonstrated the essence of sadhana.
- Describing the days he passed in intense yearning for God, the Master said: "As I was perfectly unmindful of cleaning the body at that time, the hairs grew long and got matted of themselves, being smeared with dirt and dust. When I used to sit in meditation, the body used to become stiff and motionless like a stock through intense concentration of mind, and birds, taking it to be an inert substance, came freely, perched on the head, and pecked into the matted hair in search of food. Sometimes I used to feel so intensely the pangs of separation from God, that in great bitterness I rubbed my face on the earth; often it used to get lacerated and bleed. And in meditation, prayer and other devotional practices, the days used to fly away so quickly that I was not conscious of it. At dusk, when the approach of night was announced by the ringing of bells and the blowing of conches from the temple, I used to be reminded that the day had passed and the night had set in. With this consciousness a frenzy of despair would seize my soul, and I would throw myself on the ground and rub my face to it, crying loudly, "Mother, a day has passed; still Thou hast not appeared before me!" A gnawing anguish used to torment my soul, and those who saw me like that, writhing in agony, thought that I was suffering from colic pain".
- I used to pray to the Divine Mother in this way: "O Mother Who art the embodiment of bliss, Thou must reveal Thyself to me." And sometimes I would pray: "O Lord of the meek! O Lord of the humble! Am I outside Thy universe? I have neither knowledge, nor devotion, nor merit of austerities. I know nothing. O Lord, in Thy infinite mercy Thou must vouchsafe Thy vision to me."
- "O Mother Divine! I want no honour from men, I want no pleasures of the flesh, only let my soul flow into Thee as the permanent confluence of the Ganges and the Jamuna. Mother, I am without Bhakti, without Yoga, I am poor and friendless, and I want no one's praise; only let my mind dwell always at Thy lotus feet."
- "O Mother, I am the Yantra (the instrument), Thou art the Yantri (the mover); I am the room, Thou art the tenant; I am the sheath, Thou art the sword; I am the chariot, Thou art the charioteer. I do as Thou makest me do; I speak as Thou makest me speak; I behave as Thou within me behavest; not "I", not "I", but "Thou".
- We heard from the Master that after the regular service was completed he would continue his worship of Her by singing devotional songs of Ramprasad and other mystics. His heart filled with emotion as he sang those songs with exuberant devotion. He thought: "Ramprasad and other devotees had the vision of the Divine Mother. One can definitely see Her. Why can't I?" He would often proclaim piteously: "Mother, You showed yourself to Ramprasad. Why don't you show yourself to me? I don't want wealth, friends and family, or objects of enjoyment. Please reveal yourself to me."
- As the days went by, the Master's love and longing continued to increase. Because of his uninterrupted current of thought towards the Divine Mother, some external signs manifested in his body. His appetite and need for sleep diminished. As blood flowed continually to his chest and head, his chest turned crimson and his eyes were often drenched with tears. He constantly and intensely desired to see the Divine Mother, and repeatedly asked himself, "What shall I do? How can I see Her?".
- We heard from the Master that one day at that time he was singing to the Divine Mother and praying and crying bitterly. He implored piteously, "Mother, I have been praying to You so long! Why don't you listen to me? You showed yourself to Ramprasad. Why don't you show yourself to me?" The Master described what happened then" "There was an unbearable pain in my heart because I could not have a vision of Mother. Just as a man wrings out a towel with all his strength to get the water out of it, so I felt my heart was being wrung out. I began to think I shall never see Mother. I was dying of despair. In my agony I asked myself" "What's the use of living this life?"...
- Although his longing did not always manifest itself externally through signs such as weeping, it remained in his heart all the time. Sometimes it would increase to such a point that he would not contain it anymore. Restlessly rolling on the ground with agony, he would pray: "Mother, be gracious unto me. Reveal yourself to me." He would cry so bitterly that people would gather around him to watch. He was completely unconcerned about what people might say when they saw him in that condition. He later said: "I scarcely realized the presence of people around me. They looked more like shadows or painted pictures than real objects, and so I did not feel any shame or embarrasment at all. Sometimes I would lose outer consciousness from that unbearable agony.
- I used to pray to the Divine Mother in this way: "O Mother Who art the embodiment of bliss, Thou must reveal Thyself to me." And sometimes I would pray: "O Lord of the meek! O Lord of the humble! Am I outside Thy universe? I have neither knowledge, nor devotion, nor merit of austerities. I know nothing. O Lord, in Thy infinite mercy Thou must vouchsafe Thy vision to me."
- "O Mother Divine! I want no honour from men, I want no pleasures of the flesh, only let my soul flow into Thee as the permanent confluence of the Ganges and the Jamuna. Mother, I am without Bhakti, without Yoga, I am poor and friendless, and I want no one's praise; only let my mind dwell always at Thy lotus feet."
- "O Mother, I am the Yantra (the instrument), Thou art the Yantri (the mover); I am the room, Thou art the tenant; I am the sheath, Thou art the sword; I am the chariot, Thou art the charioteer. I do as Thou makest me do; I speak as Thou makest me speak; I behave as Thou within me behavest; not "I", not "I", but "Thou".
- We heard from the Master that after the regular service was completed he would continue his worship of Her by singing devotional songs of Ramprasad and other mystics. His heart filled with emotion as he sang those songs with exuberant devotion. He thought: "Ramprasad and other devotees had the vision of the Divine Mother. One can definitely see Her. Why can't I?" He would often proclaim piteously: "Mother, You showed yourself to Ramprasad. Why don't you show yourself to me? I don't want wealth, friends and family, or objects of enjoyment. Please reveal yourself to me."
- As the days went by, the Master's love and longing continued to increase. Because of his uninterrupted current of thought towards the Divine Mother, some external signs manifested in his body. His appetite and need for sleep diminished. As blood flowed continually to his chest and head, his chest turned crimson and his eyes were often drenched with tears. He constantly and intensely desired to see the Divine Mother, and repeatedly asked himself, "What shall I do? How can I see Her?".
- We heard from the Master that one day at that time he was singing to the Divine Mother and praying and crying bitterly. He implored piteously, "Mother, I have been praying to You so long! Why don't you listen to me? You showed yourself to Ramprasad. Why don't you show yourself to me?" The Master described what happened then" "There was an unbearable pain in my heart because I could not have a vision of Mother. Just as a man wrings out a towel with all his strength to get the water out of it, so I felt my heart was being wrung out. I began to think I shall never see Mother. I was dying of despair. In my agony I asked myself" "What's the use of living this life?"...
- Although his longing did not always manifest itself externally through signs such as weeping, it remained in his heart all the time. Sometimes it would increase to such a point that he would not contain it anymore. Restlessly rolling on the ground with agony, he would pray: "Mother, be gracious unto me. Reveal yourself to me." He would cry so bitterly that people would gather around him to watch. He was completely unconcerned about what people might say when they saw him in that condition. He later said: "I scarcely realized the presence of people around me. They looked more like shadows or painted pictures than real objects, and so I did not feel any shame or embarrasment at all. Sometimes I would lose outer consciousness from that unbearable agony.
Reading these passages again and again heartfully (substituting the Divine Mother for one's Guru, chosen Deity or formless Self) awakens the deeper yearning within us. We also become aware of the blocks which prevents our entry into the deeper core of our being. It is these blocks which prevent progress in sadhana. God cannot be reached by any technique. The success of any path depends on the yearning that the path embodies. The yearning may not come at once, but it must be gradually awakened by prolonged sadhana.
If the yearning is there is a blessing. If not, still it is a blessing because we now know the reason why we cannot feel the touch of God Consciousness. The unknown factor is sadhana is reduced and knowing the reason we can now take the right direction in sadhana.
